Friday, January 8, 2010

Soul Sick

"Why do you hasten to remove anything which hurts your eye, while if something affects your soul you postpone the cure until next year?"
-- Horace

This quote was in my inbox this morning. It cut right to my core. Just this morning while I was getting ready for work I had something in my eye and within seconds I had out my little magnifying mirror and quickly removed that annoying stray fuzz. Later as I was applying my makeup, I was thinking about some choices I had made recently. Not anything horribly bad, but enough to make me stop and think. My attitudes, my words, my lifestyle have been less than stellar... And I know it's not how I want to be. But I so easily justify postponing any changes. Next week I'll be better, next month, next year... Then I will deal with my shortcomings. I will deal with those little vises that make my soul slowly sick. Why don't I immediately pull out my magnifying mirror, aim it at my soul and go to work removing those annoying little things?
Because that would involve change, that would involve making better choices, it might even affect how people view me.
I wish I was more concerned with my soul than I am all the other trivial things I worry about in life. Right now it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but what happens when all those little things start to build? Maybe if I were to deal with the issues at hand, then maybe I wouldn't have to spend so much time picking up all the pieces when things get really messy?
I'm not sure what to do. Actually I do know what to do, but do I want to make changes? Not really... but I should. today. not tomorrow.

3 comments:

Heather of the EO said...

Me too. That's what you would hear from any honest person, my friend. Me too. I'm struggling and ignoring it and running from it even. And I fight back with telling myself none of it matters, because it really doesn't. Not to God . He's crazy about us no matter what we're doing. But I think the aspect of it that does matter to Him and should to me is that I would be MORE FREE in this life if I changed some things. I think I assume staying the same is somehow easier when it is SO not. I don't ever know what to do either though, while I know exactly what to do...

ugh.

Heather of the EO said...

And also...

I think it's fear for me. That if I remove the sh*t from my life, whether it be lifestyle or just ways of acting, I won't know who I am...

if that makes sense.

MidnightCafe said...

I agree with Heather. This is all of us...knowing that we have changes we ought to make and promising to make them later. Then, every time we finally make a change, we wonder why we didn't do it sooner.

Related Posts with Thumbnails